Ganito pala ang feeling ng unrequited no? Masayang malungkot....masaya ka kasi mahal mo pa rin sya (warm pa rin eh, kahit papano) pero di naman nya nire-reciprocate!
Haaay, wish ko lang na i was born a European so i can have the equal capacity to compete. But these are things that you wish for but could never change. Born in the once great Philippines is both a blessing and a curse. Beautiful country, excellent beaches....but poor...always poor in the eyes of foreigners. Di nila alam we have so much love to give....one thing that you really need in a "relationship". Pati ba naman sa love life di maka-compete ang Pinas....that is how uncompetitive we have become! He he....Sweeping generalization from personal experience.
I guess, komplikado talagang magmahal, sa kahit anong sitwasyon. Exception than the rule when one could say that they are totally satisfied with their partners and relationships.
Sometimes, sa gabi, naiisip ko din bakit ba naman ako kumagat sa "relationship" na 'to? Ngayon I am suffering the consequences of being unrequited. Not that this is my first time to be unrequited. Pero bakit nga ba palaging nangyayari? Tapos feeling ko lahat ng effort to normalize our separate lives nasa akin ang burden. Ganun ba kalakas ang impact ko sa buhay nila na kelangan ako pa rin ang mag-ayos ng post-Raprap life nila?
Sabi nga ng isa kong friend: "You must be THAT good!"....cool thought, pero bakit ako iniiwanan? Am i too independent? Am i too bubbly? Am i too much of a best friend and too little of the bad boy that every girl secretly seeks. Or they just don't know my bad boy side(?) har har har.
The mystery of my life.
To close with the Lovebugs again:
"The weather out here is the weather in me
And it’s getting much colder each day
The season has changed and it all turns to grey
Don't you know, this is the end of the show"
Separate lives from here on. It's not easy for me. I don't know about her (er...them). But i'm a well trained Catholic--keeping up appearances will hopefully not be too difficult. Make a pretty smile...act like everything is normal...have a big fiesta even when you don't got a dime in your pocket. But, don't worry, the tempest will soon be calmed.
I hope...Aaaah-meeehn...
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